What’s In Your Backpack?

Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of a burden you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.

 – Unknown

Have you ever had several inches of your hair cut off?  For many years I would grow my hair long enough to cut and donate to “Locks of Love”.  When they would cut off that much hair, my head would feel so light, like it was floating.  It only lasted for a day or two and then the new normal would kick in.  The weightlessness feeling would disappear. 

Have you ever felt that same way when you left a bad employer?  Ended a bad relationship?  Walked away from something that was consuming your life in a bad way, like an addiction?  Did you feel free?  Like a heavy weight had been lifted?

A smile can hide so any feelings; fear, sadness, heartbreak . .  but it also shows one other thing:  strength.

 – qutoesforbros.com

We all of us sometimes smile, and pretend our world is perfect.  When really deep inside, our world is being carried on our backs, and we can see it tipping us over.  We can see that we are about to lose it all.  We can see it, slipping off our shoulders.  It’s like the weight is crushing us to the ground.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we take on too much?  We don’t ask for help.  We don’t want to fail.  We don’t want to be seen as needy.  We tell ourselves we must be perfect 24/7. 

Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. 

 – Bernice Johnson Reagan

Maybe what the life challenge is all about, is to teach us that this idea of perfection or not needing any help, will never work long term.  It might get you through a challenge or two.  But eventually it will become too heavy, and we will fall down.  We need to learn to receive as well as give.  We need to learn how to unpack our bags.  To let go of the things that no longer serve us.  We need to look at each item in the bag.  Are these socks really ours or do they belong to someone else?  What about that ugly top that we hide in the closet, who does that belong to?

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

  – Unknown

I think of the example of going grocery shopping with either a hungry spouse or your children.  You are walking down the aisle and getting the items on your list.  When you are not looking, they sneak things into the cart.  They hide it underneath something already in the cart, so you can’t say no. Then when you get to the check out line, you discover five things in your cart that you didn’t put into it.  We are like this in our personal lives.  We not only cart around other peoples items in our bags, we pay for them too.  That is the best reason to have someone help you unpack.  They can help you figure out who those socks and ugly tops actually belong to. They can help you release them back to their true owners.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.

  – Tea Bag Quote

We do this unconsciously for the most part.  Part of it comes from the initial wounding experience that you had as a young child, sometime before the age of 8.  For some reason so many people I know, including myself, it is age 4.  You experienced a childhood trauma, which impacted how you view the world.  What also happens is that you take on some of the problems as your own, that came from the other person involved in your wounding. 

If you want to fly, you’ve got to give up the things that weighs you down.

 – Savannah Smith

For example, in my own case, I walked in on my mom having an affair.  As an adult I had a problem with trust.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust others so much as I didn’t trust myself.  This caused me to attract untrustworthy people into my life.  I finally through years of transformational work discovered that this issue wasn’t about me at all. It was about my mother.  When I released this baggage everything in my life shifted, because I finally knew that I could trust myself.  I was carrying around a mountain that didn’t even belong to me.

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light.  Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.

  – Glenn Clark

We all do this.  When you go camping, they tell you to put your food up in the air between trees so that wild animals can’t get to it.  In our backpacks, we have these items that attract the “wild animals”.  We attract these experiences into our lives over and over again.  We have a pattern of the kind of friends we attract; the kinds of significant others; the kinds of jobs; etc……  Why does the same thing keep happening to us? 

Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future.

  – Wayne L Misner

We are attracting it into our life, it is our “wild animal”.  What the transformation process does, is it helps us to unpack our backpack.  To see what is really inside.  What are we carrying that no longer serves us?  What are we carrying that belongs to someone else?  What grudges, slights, hurts, and painful mountain heavy experiences are we carrying in our backpack?

It’s not the heavy load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.

 – Lena Horne

We are only meant to carry the load for a short time.  The time of the experience happening.  Not months and years later.  The weight of the past must be released.  You are meant to find the gold, and let go of the rest of the boulder.  Refocus on where you are headed.

Even the boulder that you are currently carrying, that you are trying to find the gold in.  The weight of that boulder can be lessened if you confine it to the lesson itself.  Sometimes we take the lesson to mean that we can’t do anything right.  That our whole life has been one failure after another.  That we are doomed.  That our existence itself is a burden.  None of those things are ever true.  It is our mind pressing down from the weight of every single burden we have ever carried, into one gigantic mountain.

When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.

 – Healrhyplace.com

You need to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.  The gift of compassion.  The gift of redemption.  The gift of letting go.  Get a piece of paper and start unpacking your backpack.  Write down every untold story that you have inside of your heart.  For years I blamed myself for my parents divorce.  If only I hadn’t opened her bedroom door, I wouldn’t have uncovered her dark secrets, and my parents would still be married.  But the truth is that had nothing to do with me, and was the result of their bad decisions and choices over which I had no power.  We all have these stories inside of us that must be released.  That must be unpacked and let go of.

So stop carrying the mountain.  Unpack your backpack.  Release the weight of the past. 

Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.  

– Unknown 

Give yourself the gift of seeing the best things in your backpack.  Of forgiving the worst things that you blame yourself for.  Of forgiving the bad things that happened to you, so that you don’t carry the weight of other peoples sins inside of you.  And never lose faith that everything in your life can serve you, if you give yourself the gift of love and forgiveness.

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Trust Without Reservation And Take A Leap Of Faith

Updated 7/30/2018

Adventures are how we grow and realize the hidden strengths that are inside each of us. Each day we have the opportunity to start a new adventure.  We can go on this adventure solo, or we can have partners that join us.  It can be a business adventure or a personal journey to explore who we are now and who we can grow into.  The choice of destination can be a fixed point, or it can be left open for divine guidance to take us to where the most growth can happen.  The trust in the first case is that we did our homework and prepared for everything possible, and are ready for the impossible to show up.  In the latter case, the trust is that whatever the divine throws at us to stimulate the growth is something that we can not only handle, but conquer and be victorious over.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.

  – Henry Miller

Martha Beck in her book, “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World” speaks about leaps of faith. She says that the term for a collective (like herd of cows) for leopards is a “leap”. A leopard will leap up into the branches of a tree with an antelope carcass in its mouth that outweighs it. Each time the leopard leaps, it is an act of faith that it will make it up onto a branch 10 feet above it. If the leopard doesn’t make it, it could mean it’s death, as it would most likely land on its back with the weight of the antelope on top of it.  Put yourself in that space and ask yourself – have you have truly ever taken such a leap of faith?

Everyone needs someone who will call and say, “get dressed, we’re going on an adventure”. 

  – Whisper

She goes on to say that each time we face an unknown, with creativity instead of grasping at known quantities, we leap. Each time we dare to think that our art (I insert here whatever your personal genius is) can sustain us financially we leap. She reflects that each time we surrender to the way things want to happen (not under our control), we leap.  When was the last time that you truly surrendered to the divine guidance?  That you truly followed the saying , “let go and let God”?  It is the acknowledgement that we don’t have the answers.  That we want to continue the adventure.  That we are letting go of expectations.  That we are letting go of our own brains “ideas” of how things should be.  That we are letting go of the safety nets.  That we are stepping out onto the tightrope,and one step at a time we are walking across,.  That we are trusting our inner guidance to be the balance we need to get to the other side – whatever and wherever that is.

I highly recommend any of Martha Beck’s books and especially this book – I bookmarked it for you to check out. http://amzn.to/1Xbnz56

What we discover when we leap, is what we are really made of. Do we shrink back at the challenges or opportunities that present themselves to us? Do we pass by the aid of angelic guides, because we think that what we see isn’t the answer we were looking for? That one is too easy, this one is too hard? Then when we find what we think is the perfect one, we get scared off by a family of bears?

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are.  The second greatest is being happy with what you find.

  – Picturequotes.com

Today I took a leap. trusting in the magic of my soul. Today was the day that I took a deep breath, let go of certainty, trusted my heart, and leaped into “seeing what happens next.”

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.

  – D Elton Trueblood

So today we traded in all of our fears for faith and trust without reservation in divine guidance.  Those who are curious have the best adventures, just ask Alice about her adventures in Wonderland. In traveling, we think that we are losing ourselves.  Leaving behind the world that we know with all of its limitations and obligations.  Instead, when we travel we find ourselves.  We rediscover who we are and what is important.  We open ourselves to the infinite stream of possibilities and wonder.  Adventure fills your soul.

Only those who will risk going to far can possibly find out how far they can go.

  – T.S. Eliot

I think of Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz. She learned so much about herself with her adventures. She had her companions with her, just as I do today. I don’t know the “how” part of this decision. But I listened to my heart, which said that it is the right decision. Dorothy didn’t know the “how” of getting home, but she listened to Glenda and set out on the journey.

It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.

  – Ursula K. LeGuin

Glenda the Good Witch tells her at the end, “you had the power to go home from the very beginning”, so Dorothy of course asks, “why didn’t you tell me?” Because Glenda said, “you would not have believed it. You had to learn it by yourself.”

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have always imagined.

  – Henry David Thoreau

The same is true for me, and you. Adventures is how we learn what are powers are, and what we are capable of creating together. 

Faith is the daring of the soul to go further than it can see.

  –  (from Godfruits.com)

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Sending Love Wherever It Is Needed

We all have those days.  The days when nothing is seeming to go the way you planned.  That day when every mistake you made in the past year, shows up on your desk within 5 minutes of your sitting down.  Those days when you feel that the very idea of being able to control anything in your life, is life’s great joke on you.

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once”  – Paulo Coelho

If you could see what was being hidden in each of our lives, I think that you would be more loving to one another.  There is a video that was done, where little thought bubbles come up as the camera goes down the halls and elevators in a hospital.    Someone is saying goodbye to their dying father.  One man was just told the tumor was benign, while another was told he has cancer.  An elderly woman with oxygen has been waiting for a heart transplant for 69 days.  An exhausted nurse is at the end of a 12 hour shift.  “

Those are the days when you need someone to hug you and say, “You are Good Enough.  You are Capable of Handling this.  You are Important.  You are more than Worthy.  You are LOVED.  You are NOT ALONE.”  These are the days that you need all of the light and love that the world can send you.  What you have to remember, is that at this very moment, someone in the world is either sending you that love, or is in need of you to send that love.

“Could a greater miracle take place, than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau

It is when you are living your life from the place of passion and purpose, that you shine the brightest.  Knowing that your deepest dreams can be reached.  It is when you take that deep breath, and just let the emotions flow out of you, that you can reset yourself.  It is hard to be loving and empathetic when you are in survival mode.  You need to give yourself the oxygen mask, reset your emotions and then help others.  Find that spark inside of you, and let it shine first for you.  Then shine it for others to help them find theirs.

Recently driving into work, I was playing a CD with healing sounds.  A friend of mine knew that I have been having some health issues, and thought it might help.  So I purchased it and have been playing it all week.

I realized that every area in almost everyone’s life right now is undergoing some issues.  Work layoffs; health issues; injustices in life, and just watching the news can make you a  little stressed out about how everything is in a negative place right now.

Writing these posts and finding the “good news” articles and videos is what keeps my feet walking down my path of transformation.  It is keeping me sane.  It is why I write, and why I want to share what I find with all of the other LemonadeMakers out there.

“Remember . . .  the entrance to the sanctuary is within you”  – Rumi

Then you add in everything negative happening with the war in Ukraine, fighting in politics between the parties, terrorists’ attacks; the workplace and school shootings, countries at war within their own borders, or threatening to make war on other countries – it can all feel overwhelming.

None of these problems have easy solutions.  I think that we are all being called by the Divine to wake up.  To be the love and light that the world needs to heal.  We all need to heal in some way.

“Spread love everywhere you go.  Let no one ever come to you with leaving happier”  –  Mother Teresa

When you lift someone else up, it automatically lifts you up.  As the saying goes, “you rise by lifting others”.  It is not dependent on the other person appreciating your showing them love.  It is not dependent on it being reciprocated back to you.  It could even be ignored.  It will still lift both of you up.

This is because your showing love to others means that you are actively involved in the growth and support of another person.  Right now, you may not be in a place of being able to offer a refugee a place to stay.  You may not be in a place to donate money to help support someone in need.  But you are always in a place of showing love to someone.  Even if it is just a smile and a small prayer that love light their way forward.  You are always able to shine out the love and light to others.

What Is The “Normal” That We Spend Most Of Our Life Trying To Be?

Brene Brown gives us a hint of what we are seeking when we say we just want to be “normal”.

“Because True Belonging only happens when we present our Authentic, Imperfect Selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of Self-Acceptance” – Brene Brown

Being “normal” to most of us, means that you fit in.  That you are accepted.  That you experience a sense of belonging to a group or tribe.  So, the first clue to how you achieve that sense of belonging or being normal, is that you accept yourself for who you really are, deep down inside. You don’t rely or depend on what other people are thinking about you.

What they think about you is none of your business.  It actually has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with how your actions or lack thereof are triggering them.  And whatever triggers them is all about their own shadows.

“Normal is for people without courage” – Unknown

So why is it so hard to have that feeling?  Because you are so busy rejecting who you really are.  An easy example is what most of us do when someone has a camera – you either try to stay out of the photo or try to position yourself so that you are hiding whatever part of your body you don’t want to be memorialized by a photo.  Then you find fault with how you look in the photo.

How many photos do you have of yourself that you actually love?  Why not?

“Normal is an illusion.  What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly” – Morticia Adams

You feel that you are the only one who feels the way that you do.  So, you push the true self down into the basement of your soul and lock the door.  Then you start building a persona to match what you think is normal.  Because this persona isn’t who you really are, you can’t really have that sense of true belonging.

Instead, you run around with this sense of “trying” to belong.  What is so funny, is that almost every person in this group that you are trying so hard to fit into, is doing the exact same thing.  In fact, there are probably friends of yours who if you all took down the personas and accepted who you really are, are in fact part of your tribe that you think doesn’t exist.

“I tried being normal once.  Worst two minutes of my life” – Unknown

When I was in grade school and Junior High School, we moved every six months or so.  Until I was in high school, I didn’t attend one school for the entire school year.  It was usually two different schools in two different towns.  This made it really hard to make friends.

What I remember most is trying to be who I thought someone would want me to be, just so that I could have a friend.  In High School I first made friends with a group of girls that were on the wild side, because the wild girls were more accepting of new people.

Now where I ran into problems was that I was an “A” student, and the wild girls were not.  So, after the first experience of being put down for “A” grades, I tried to downplay my grades.  Then I started letting them slide into “B’s” to be accepted.

But the truth was that I liked school, I liked learning, I liked trying to be the best in the class.  So, I changed my friends to some that didn’t care what my grades were.  They allowed me to be who I was.  Their acceptance gave me a tiny sense of belonging, of not sticking out too far above the crowd.

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be” – Maya Angelou

Why do you lock your true self into a chest, and bury it on the desert island?

• You are both terrified and amazed by the colors of your soul.
• You have this push-pull going on.
• You have a brilliant idea, then you mentally tear it apart.
• You have a dream you passionately want to go after, then you analyze it to death, with fears of failure and not being worthy.
• You have a door of opportunity open in front of you, and you feel an intense pull to go through it, but you listen to all of the naysayers and walk past it with dragging feet.

Self-Acceptance, means that you believe in yourself.  This is risk at its highest form, because what if you are not enough?  This is where the loving the imperfect self comes in.  No one is perfect, and so by this reality, you will fail sometimes.  And that has to be okay.

“I heard a voice that told me I’m essential.  How all my fears are limiting my potential.  Said it’s time to step into the light and use every bit of power I have inside” – Indea Erie

Alice Through the Looking Glass, in Wonderland and Underground, was always looking for adventures.  She didn’t have time for “normal”.  She was way beyond that!

Alice didn’t like following the rules of “normal” behavior.  It takes a lot of courage to go out on adventures.  Adventures bring out parts of you that you didn’t know were there.  It also shows you parts of you, that you may not like.  Adventures teach you to look at things differently.  Backwards, upside down, and sideways.  Adventures teach you about who you are.

“Who in the world am I?  Ah, that’s the puzzle that is only yours to solve.”

“I knew who I was this morning, but I have changed a few times since then” – Alice in Wonderland

The more that you take these adventures and learn about yourself, the curiousier it gets.  This is because like the looking glass adventure, everything is opposite of what you would think.  In taking the risk and going on the adventure, what you find is more freedom to be your imperfect self.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change” – Brene Brown

How does that work?  By being curious, and having self-acceptance that you are imperfect, you start to allow yourself the space to experiment.  You start trying new things.  You mix up the parts and create something new, different and wonderful.  The more you open to change, the easier it becomes to let go of certainty.

Self-acceptance means that you no longer become that mean, vindictive, cruel person in your mind to yourself. You are no longer at war with who you really are.  You are made up of strength and struggle; of giving and receiving; of being first to do something with no guarantee that it will be returned to you, or that you will be successful in the doing of it.

It is this strong sense of belonging, of self-acceptance, of self-love, that enables you to have the courage to live an imperfect life as your true self.  Don’t fear failure.  Take ownership of who you are and be proud of it.  Take chances, like they are lucky gold tickets, because they are.  No matter what, do not stop being the weird, crazy person that you are meant to be.

Make Your Own Path, Be Your Own Hero

People living deeply have no fear of death – Anais Nin

Living your life so that fear of death can never enter your heart is a tall order. It would mean looking at your thoughts, words, deeds, and actions through a light of always being the best person you can be, and forgiving yourself when you fall short, and resolve to do better.  I have always believed that at death we go on to the next great adventure.  I have more of a regret that it might come too soon, because I have so many things yet to accomplish with my life. 

Trouble no one about their religion, respect others in their view and demand that they respect yours – if just this one sentence was followed by every living person, our world would have true peace.  

It is really interesting when you learn about other cultures, other religions, people with different languages.  Words don’t always translate across from language to language.  Even when you are raised in the same language, same country, same religion there are differences.  Going from the north of the United States to the south can be a culture shock.  Going from the country to the big city, can be a big culture shock.  You tend to judge others when you don’t understand.

Your experience of life doesn’t have to create a barrier with someone who’s had a difference experience.  Instead, if you can widen out your mind to try and truly understand another person’s experience of life, you gain their respect, and they gain yours.

One of the truest signs of maturity is the ability to disagree with someone while still remaining truthful – Dave Willis

It is difficult to feel greatness after a lapse of 200 years, but Tecumseh truly seems admirable. He was noble in his speech and behavior, adamant in his opposition to U.S. expansion, farsighted in his policies, brave in battle, yet merciful and protective toward captives – Devin Bent in Tecumseh: A Brief Biography, said of Tecumseh

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well – Voltaire

Love Must Prevail

It’s inspiring to see that in response to one person’s darkest, most violent actions, humanity can still come together in an effort to win with the power of love.  The link below takes you to the Broadway site where you can buy the song “What the World Needs Now is Love” that they recorded for $1.99 and support the victims of this horrible tragedy.  Watch the video, it brings a smile to your face and peace to your heart.

http://www.broadwayrecords.com/shop/broadway-for-orlando-what-the-world-needs-now-is-love-mp3

Choose

It really is all about what you choose to see, and I choose to contribute to something bigger than I am and because of that choice, I am doing all of the rest. What is the one line you see here that you choose?

Believe

I love this – the pattern of the tree within the leaf from the tree it came from, and small pieces of leaves cut out from the larger piece
As above, so below
As within, so without

Believe In Yourself

“You have to believe in yourself, that’s the secret. Even when I was in the orphanage, when I was roaming the street trying to find enough to eat, even then I thought of myself as the greatest actor in the world.” – Charlie Chaplin

I met some great people at the event I attended this past weekend. I had a wonderful dinner with one of the partners of a business that was pitching on Saturday. The partner made some errors with her pitch and I know that it bothered both of them deeply. 

Believe in Yourself

Happy New Year, everyone!

“Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true.” – Unknown

Believe

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” – Mary Kay Ash

Limits box us in and create a prison with bars that we accept as our limits. This is a self made prision of stories that we have accepted as our truth. It is scary because the fear mind creates the fear of failure, of looking stupid, and tells us the bars are real and in place for a reason. We are all far more talented and capable that we can imagine, but we have to be willing to believe and step outside of the bars and test our limits to find them. Test each bar of belief and you will find they are illusions, easy to remove and move past.