Never Be Defined By Your Past

Fear is like the Wizard of Oz, projecting itself onto the screen, frightening you with how powerful it is.  When in reality, it is a small man behind the curtain. Don’t be afraid to move the curtain and expose the fear. Finding the blessing in the fear, is the opportunity to open your heart and mind to the idea of change and reinvention.

“Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we didn’t think we needed to know” – Unknown

Lessons show up in painful situations.  Sometimes you consciously choose to change, because you have taken the time to realize something isn’t working and why. Other times you stumble upon ( notice the word stumble) an opportunity.

Sometimes you trip over something and you catch yourself before the fall, hopping across the floor as you try to regain your balance. Other times you can trip over something that face plants you on the ground, and has you digging rocks off your skin. Either way there are still choices to make.

“One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change”  – Unknown

“No matter who tries to teach you lessons about life, you won’t understand it until you go through it on your own”  – Unknown

The classic opportunities for reinvention tend to come from two things. With a heartbreak such as; losing a job, ending a relationship, the death of a close friend or family member.

The classic “good but scary” opportunities for reinvention are you go away to college, you move to a new town with a new job, you get the really big promotion such as those COO, CEO, CFO types of promotions or the best of all, you decide to be an entrepreneur and your own boss.

In today’s world, your fill in the blank might be related to the changing world from Covid-19.  It might be you are living in a war zone.  It might be that you are reaching out to help with refugees in your town.  It might be a medical problem with yourself or a family member.  It might be trying to figure out what’s next in your career or family life.

“There are things in life we don’t want to happen, but have to accept; things we don’t want to know but have to learn; and people we can’t live without, but have to let go”  – Unknown

In today’s world lots of businesses are rethinking how they do business.  They are trying to see the gaps and create opportunities to bridge them. Bringing an idea to life is hard work. You can expect it to cost you more personally, financially, and maybe even reputational than you thought it would. There are sleepless nights. You become a master of second guessing your choice to make this move.

“Disney taught me to never stop 

believing in my dreams

Harry Potter taught me that love and friendship

dominates all kind of evil

Narnia taught me that we must all grown up 

& leave our childhood behind,

but must never forget it

Percy Jackson taught me that there’s

a hero in every one of us

Glee taught me that no matter how different we are,

there’s always that one thing we have in common”  – Unknown

But to be truly committed you need to “burn the boats”.  This expression is a “point of no return”, where you have destroyed all other choices, and you are left with no options but the intention you started with.  It comes from a famous incident when a Spanish Explorer landing in Mexico ordered their ships to be burned.  They either would conquer the country or be killed, because they had no way to return home.

So take away plan b, eliminate the lifeline.  Go all out for what you are passionate about. Follow your bliss. Look at what is working and not working. What you love to do and hate to do. The key is to get immersed in what you are passionate about and hire help for the rest.

“Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality, and likes that turned into loves”  – Unknown

• Surround yourself with people who love to learn, share and build.
• Join or create a mastermind group with people who are putting their ideas into action.
• Seek out those in your community who solve problems and ask for suggestions.
• Create that special group of people who will be your cheerleaders, helping you to remain positive and take the risks that need to be taken, instead of holding yourself back.
  

And remember the three most important words in your fear busting vocabulary: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

It All Begins With A Dream, A Story. Stay True To The Dreamers Story.

“Promise to stay wild with me.  We’ll seek and return and stay and find beauty and the extraordinary in all the spaces we can claim.  We’ll know how to live.  How to breathe magic into the mundane”  – Victoria Erickson

I think that turning your dreams into realities is all about staying wild.  To stay adventurous and be curious.  To breathe magic into the mundane.  To touch the stars, and fly with dragonflies.  It is about dancing with fairies and talking to the moon.  It is about following Alice into the mirror or down the rabbit hole.  It is about returning to Oz for more adventures.  The imagination is critical to planting the seeds of your future.  Don’t listen to those who purvey logic and say it can’t be done.  Listen the to whisper of your heart as it leads you to create what others can’t even imagine.  Whimsy is the “new black”.

“Refuse to be that person that, like so many others who is still driving down the same road years down the line, mournfully longing to go back in time to be given just one more chance to take the road they should have taken because they ignored all possible extraordinary signs.  It’ll never get easier to make the leap and this is your chance, so make the change.  Take the road now”  – Victoria Erickson

The things that you do and don’t do shape who you are.  They put detail into your mind, body, heart, and soul.  The stretchmark’s of childbirth.  The laughter wrinkles.  The broken hearts and mended souls.  You have learned how to be brave, how to smile through the tears.  You promise yourself and your loved ones that whatever tragedy is happening in your life this moment – everything will still be okay.

You have learned how to shift your sails through the tides of change.  How to ride the wild waves and make it back to shore.  How to stand in the wind and just keep swimming.  How to leap instead of crawl.  How to rise out of the ocean depths and fly across the water.  To ride the storm like a wild horse and how to lead it back into calm waters.  You are not a settler.  You didn’t settle to drive down the straight and narrow roads, that ones that don’t lead to adventures.   You chose the road to high adventures.

“I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk.  About love, about life, about anything, about everything.  To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl.  Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations.  To speak without regret of fear of consequence.  Talk for hours and about what’s really important in life”  – Unknown

I love my tribe of special girlfriends.  We sit around the fire and drink wine and talk.  We talk about our lives and solve not only all of our problems.  We move on to solving all of the worlds problems.  My mom would always ask me what we talked about, and I would say that we just created a better world for all of us.

There is a movie with Sam Waterston, John Heard and Liv Ullmann called “Mindwalk” – it is about a lawyer, a politician and a scientist who meet up at Mont St. Michel.  They get caught up is the magic of having one of those kinds of conversations.  They explore everything as they walk around the castle.  I loved the film because you see how exhilarating a conversation can be when you aren’t arguing with each other but instead opening up each others minds to explore new ideas and concepts.

“The idea is to live your life in a way that makes you feel lit up.  Alive.  Fully fledged.  Beautiful.  Know and find what nourishes you inside out, bones to skin and then build your world from that alone.  All else is not part of your revolution.  Or your ultimate evolution”  – Victoria Erickson

Our dreams are meant to be moments of connection.  Connecting ideas, concepts and changing the reality of your life.  They are expansive.  They flash across time and space, to a point in the future and then ricochet back to you with what the next step is to make them a reality.  The dreams are fluid and watery as they flow and adapt to new information.  They are always moving forward, never retracting.  They are malleable, luminous, free like the clouds in the sky to form new patterns and shapes.  Follow your passion. Listen to your heart.  Don’t be afraid of changing and adapting.

“There’s a turning point.  It arrives when we find ourselves quietly hovering inside the realization that the choice is between two pains:  the pain of the jump or the pain of regret”  – Victoria Erickson

Leaping is such a wonderful visual word.  Like you have a “pride of lions”, the word for leopards as a group is a “leap of leopards”.  When a leopard kills an antelope it has to take his kill high up into the trees. If he doesn’t other animals will take his kill away from him.  The adult male leopard weighs 80-198 lbs, and the female 63-132 lbs.  An antelope outweighs the leopard with the largest weighing more than 1,000 lbs.  So if the leopard doesn’t balance his leap perfectly, it risks being crushed by its own kill.  If they don’t make the leap high into the tree branches, it risks losing its dinner and starvation.  Every time I see the word leap, I think of the leopard.

“Remember that you are more than skin and bones.  You are one thousand stories of before.  One thousand stories of potential.  One thousand stories you’ve yet to see and know and feel and breathe.  There’s more to come.  And it’s something beautiful”   -Victoria Erickson

If you don’t leap, you won’t be able to continue bringing your dreams into reality.  If you do leap, you will be risking failure.  Experience has shown that you will need to leap again.  To rise up and continue your journey. Since there will be pain of failure, pain of regret, or pain of the leap itself, tip yourself over the edge.  Flip your fears into courage.  There are thousands of stories yet to be lived and told over the campfire.  There is so much more potential to be revealed.  You are still unraveling the parts of you that don’t belong and uncovering the true you that you buried so long ago.  So when given the chance to leap, take it.  Live a new story.  Share that story with others.  I can’t wait to hear your stories.  To hear your dreams of realities not yet created, as well as all of the transformations you already have unveiled.

“There will be certain people and places that’ll open your aliveness, flooding you with the same awe and sweet ache as a thousand daydreams revealed.  Hold these connections close, for one day you’ll know a clearer view of what they truly were from the beginning – still moments of perfection in an ever spinning world”  – Victoria Erickson

So as you sail about in the sky, reaching for the castle of your dreams, treasure the still moments of perfection that happen along the road.  Make sure you take time each day to dip your toes into the pools of imperfections.  Those imperfections that you not only live with, but have come to appreciate as part of your souls journey.

See the daydreams unveil themselves.  Get a clear focused view of your current destination.  See the moment of clarity in your life purpose(s).  Take out your compass and adjust your course as needed.  Stay in the wild spaces.  Keep leaping.  Remember to live your life not in the past, or in the future, but in this moment.  Feel the love, the joy, the happiness.  Most of all, live with open heartedness.  See the beauty of your life in its thousands of forms.

Transformation Is A Coin, One Side Painful, The Other Side Beautiful. Just Flip The Coin Until You Get To The Beautiful

“Life is like a roller coaster.  You can either scream every time there is a bump or you can throw your hands up and enjoy the ride” – Unknown

A roller coaster is an interesting ride.  I grew up in Santa Cruz which is home to one of the oldest wooden roller coasters in the United States.  I went on it all of the time.  It is a ride that jerks you around, makes your stomach do flip flops.  Then there is the thrill of adrenaline coursing through your veins when you have both hands up in the air, and can you feel yourself lift off your seat, thighs riding against the bar across your lap.

It can make you frightened, scared, sick, excited and thrilled all in the same moment.  True change and transformation do the same thing.

“And suddenly you know…  It’s time to start something new and trust in the magic of beginnings” – Unknown

There are differences between change and transformation, there is a process to change.  You determine that you have something that you want to remove from your life, and something you want to introduce to your life.  So, you make a change.

I use losing weight as an example because it is something that is common to wrestle with.  A diet is something that you can change to lose weight.  You restrict yourself in your food intake and you might also introduce more exercise.   The problem with this way of doing things is that for 90% of us, it is a temporary change.

For a short while you run every day and eliminate carbs as an example.  You could lose 10, 20, 30 lbs. – but at some point, the willpower that you are exerting for this change dies out and you return to your normal habits.

Transformation isn’t about adding temporary measures to achieve a goal.  It is all about changing the lifestyle. It starts in the chaos.

For myself as an example, there is a reason why I gained weight, and now it needs to be released.  If the pain of wanting to release it doesn’t outweigh the pain of why I gained the weight, then anything I do won’t last.  I know this to be true, because I have been on this roller coaster of losing weight only to regain it all back.

You have to unravel the untruths in your body that the weight was formed from.  You created your own set of demons that put on every pound.  You have to uproot the entire plant and root system, or like a weed it just comes back.  Letting go of the demons you created is an acknowledgement that the “truth” they promised to be for you was a lie.

“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul” – Brigitte Nicole

I have always loved the saying that life is a riddle, wrapped up in a mystery. inside an enigma.  It came from a radio broadcast and is attributed to Winston Churchill.  That is what it is like when you run up against the fear of change.

Somewhere inside of you is the riddle of what has triggered the fear.  Inside the fear is a mystery or story about the fear. Inside the story is the enigma of something subconscious that you can’t remember or recognize.

It is what makes the change temporary and why sometimes such extreme chaos is triggered in order for the transformation to happen.

In my own case with weight, I can feel something different this time.  It’s been three months of change for me so far.  I have released about 25 lbs.  The chaos that has triggered the change is health related.  I can feel a difference in the motivation this time.  It doesn’t feel like short-term thinking for the first time.  Time will of course tell me in the end if this is true transformation.

Whatever the transformation is, it is something that impacts all areas of your life.  It is so drastic a change that you can’t go back to what you were.

For Cat Stevens his transformation was around his spirituality.  He changed his name, he stopped singing and gave up a successful music career, he changed his religion. – and that changed everything.  He had a brush with death and almost drowned in the Pacific Ocean.  He promised God he would work for him, if he could make it back to shore.  Then a wave came that carried him back to shore.

It would be 25 years before he performed publicly again.  It wasn’t a short-term change using willpower. It was a lifestyle transformation.

“Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns.  Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths.  Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive” – Stacey Charter

• When the winds of change blow, what is your reaction?
• Do you build a wall to keep it out?
• Do you build a windmill to harness the energy to facilitate a true transformation?

All great transformation is preceded by chaos.  Chaos is what sends you on the journey.  For Cat Stevens it would appear that he built a wall to keep things out.

Later in life, he returned to the music world, although he hasn’t had the same success as when he left it.  He released a new album, and it appears that he has torn down the wall, to instead use the energy of the windmill.  He has become very involved with various charity organizations.

Like a roller coaster, his transformation took him to the edge of cutting himself off from the world, and now is taking him to the edge of incorporating his life back into the world, but with a focus of helping child refugees and his charitable foundation, “Small Kindness”.

“You have to stop thinking you’ll be stuck in your situation forever.  We feel like our heart will never heal or we’ll never get out of this impossible struggle.  Don’t confuse a season for a lifetime.  Even your trials have an expiration date.  You will grow, life will change, things will work out” – Brittney Moses

The difference when undergoing transformation,

• You are making the changes from an energetic space, not a willpower space.
• You are making them out of Love not fear.
• You are making them from a place of courage not fear.

Life or death choices are one thread, a single coin.  It is all about which side we are viewing them from.  Lack or abundance?  Love or fear?  Life or death?  Are you screaming at life or throwing your hands up in the air and enjoying it?

What Shape Waits In The Seed Of You?

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance.  This is the Law of Nature – Dr. Steve Maraboli

I’ve always thought that if I was a flower, I would want to be a dandelion.  I love how their seed heads seem to sparkle.  When my bright yellow flower matured into tiny seeds, I wanted a little girl to pick me and make wishes.  Then blow me all over the meadow, so that I could spread and grow into the whole meadow.  A whole meadow of new tiny wishes to be made.

Dandelions are considered to be weeds by many.  But they are edible plants, and dandelion tea is very good for the liver, although I guess that dandelion wine might be a better drink – lol.  It is a useful plant, not pretentious or hard to grow like some flowers.  It is found almost everywhere. It is even a social flower because their deep taproots bring up nutrients not only for themselves, but any nearby plants too.  If you plant them around your trees, they release a gas that actually helps fruit to ripen.

What I need is the dandelion in the spring.  The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction.  The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses.  That it can be good again – Suzanne Collins

When the seeds disperse, they parachute outwards, like they are enjoying even the end of their life to the maximum, with no reservations.  They have faith that their landing will continue their species.  This faith is borne out by the fact that they have been around since prehistoric times and are not a cultivated plant in most places.

Words are like seeds.  They have creative power.  What seeds are you planting?

• What choices are you making today, that will be harvested tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?
• Do you choose to make changes, so that you can excel?
• Do you choose to listen to your inner mean mind voice or the soft whisper of your soul?
• Do you choose to be useful, not using and manipulating others?
• Do you choose to live your life with courage, standing up for yourself and others?

Words grow larger when they are examined.  The words are like the opening of a flower, from the bud to the blossom.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom – Anais Nin

Why are you afraid of opening from a bud to a bloom?  I think part of the reason is that you are afraid of being judged as not worthy.  Not a very pretty blossom.  Poor color.  Bent petals.  Not attracting the right kinds of bees, birds or insects to help pollinate others.  No scent, or even worse, you stink.

You might get attacked by Aphids and look all spotty.  A dog or cat might decide you are their new litter box.

Some child running by could step on you and smash you into paste.  Then you wouldn’t even have a chance to go to seed.  Your purpose would have all been for nothing.  You should have just remained in the dark earth and not even tried to shoot towards the sun.

Then there is the whole going to seed part.  It is frightening.  You must completely fall apart.  All of the beautiful petals of your youth fall to the ground.  Your leaves turn brown and brittle and fall off.  The wind takes your precious seeds and just blows them away.  You don’t even get a say where they land.  Some landings will be on hard ground and the birds will eat you up.  But some will land in moist soil and falling into darkness they will start the germination process all over again.  The circle of life begins anew.

The heart is like a garden.  It can grow compassion, or fear, resentment or love.  What seeds will you plant there? – Jack Kornfield

When you have a good healthy discussion, the words used are like a seasoning.  They bring flavor to the ideas.  They change the texture of the meanings when they are used in new and different ways.  They expand your heart and mind.  They fall into the cracks and grow something new and unforeseen.

Words can be hot and spicy, or cool and watery.  Mellow words sooth and soften us.  They have the saying, “those are fighting words”.  Our words can cause you to run the entire string of the emotional scale.

• What kind of words do you use?
• Are they growing compassion or hatred?
• Spreading fear or love?
• Dispersing anger or resentment
• Scattering conciliation?

Life brings challenges to all of us.  Many times, the worst thing that can happen, becomes the best thing that could have happened to you.  It sometimes takes you cracking, falling apart in total destruction for you to find the truth of who you really are.  To set you on the path that you are supposed to be on.

Today someone fell in love, and someone lost the love of their life.

Today someone lived through an accident that should have killed them, and someone else didn’t wake up this morning because they died in their sleep.

Today someone made their parents proud and today someone crushed their parents’ hearts.

Today someone was healed from cancer, and someone died from cancer.

Today could be the best day of your life or the worst day of your life.

You have seen my descent.  Now watch my rising – Rumi

At some point the destruction hits you or misses you.  But take heart, because it isn’t really destruction.

When life buries you, remember that you are seeds.  You will rise back up out of the darkness.  You will shine again.  Like the ocean tide, you rise, and you fall, and you will rise again.

Where you are headed is much more important that what you have left behind you.  You keep growing, keep learning, and you try new things.

You are human, not perfect, but perfectly imperfect.  Be thankful to be alive and still moving to fulfill your dreams and your destiny.  Embrace life with grace and courage.  See wishes floating on the breeze, parachuting into a new adventure!

Remember To Fall Asleep With A Dream And To Wake Up With A Purpose

Don’t follow your dreams  . . .  chase them!

  – Kunal Patel

Dreams come preloaded with a guidance system. They know the fastest way to bring themselves into reality.  Give yourself permission to listen to them, to step into who you are meant to be.  As little girls we are taught to play small.  Not to be too much of anything, because it is prideful to draw attention to ourselves.  Nick names such as “Miss Priss”, “Smarty pants” are designed to make us feel even smaller – like who does she think she is?  Little girls who aspire to do jobs in the Stem fields have to fight and work harder, just because “girls are not good at those things”.

Little girls with dreams become women with vision.

  – Unknown

Dreams also come with more than one path. I say this, because the fastest way is “as the crow flies” which means it is usually the harder path to take. Most of us would prefer the shortcut. The Staples “easy button”.  But the “easy” button doesn’t expand our comfort zone.  It doesn’t teach us new things about ourselves.  We don’t get to explore the depths of who we are and what we are capable of.  It isn’t the path to adventure.  The “easy” button is not the way to mastery or to accomplishing any great work.  It is about settling and living life in a rut, just a hamster in a wheel, running fast and going nowhere.  The harder path is over mountains, down steep ravines.  You  have to ford rivers at flood stage.  You trudge through hot dry deserts and lose your bearings in muggy swamps covered with mosquito bites.  The fastest way tests your mind, body and soul.  It builds you up, strengthening muscles in places you didn’t even know you had muscles.  At the end of the day, you may be exhausted, but it is a happy exhausted.  You have proven to yourself what you are truly capable of being and doing.

Follow your dreams even if it means standing alone.  Be different but stay yourself.

  – Unknown

It might be that we are not confident of your ability to take that harder path. I am a huge “Lord of the Rings” fan. When Frodo and Samwise go forward on the journey with just the two of them, they are definitely taking that hard path. I always thought that if the Eagles could rescue them at the end when the lava was coming to kill them, why couldn’t they have dropped them off at the mouth of the cave?  What Frodo and Samwise learned was there was a big difference in setting out on the journey to accomplish your dreams, and actually traveling and experiencing the journey itself.  It stretched them beyond every boundary.  Responsibility, wisdom, self knowledge, self reflection, fears, courage – every word was dismantled, tested in forges of fire, and rebuilt as they took on new meanings.

Everyone has talent.  What’s rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads.

  – Erica Jong

Don’t Let Insecurities Run Your Life. Fight For Your Dreams.

“How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable” – Seth Godin – Author and Speaker

Your dreams are calling you. Are you answering them?  Are you putting them through to voice mail because you don’t recognize the number?  If you recognize the number, are you putting it through to voice mail because you don’t want to have that inner conversation with yourself?

You know that one where you argue with yourself about what you are doing versus what you are telling everyone you want to do.

• What causes you to procrastinate, to put things on hold?
• How many of your dreams do you currently have in voice mail waiting for you to pick up the phone and return the call?
• Is your voice mail now full and you are totally missing any new calls?

I know that if someone compliments me, the first thought in my mind is discounting what they said.  When I was growing up my sister closest in age to me was always the pretty one, the beautiful one. She is 18 months younger, and her body matured faster than mine. She is several inches taller than my 5’3″. I was the smart one. This comparison ran through our childhood. To this day she carries that role of not being smart, even though it isn’t true.  I carry the role of not being pretty and discount anyone who says that it isn’t true.

Isn’t it sad how you prove that those family comparisons are true, simply out of habit?  You were told all of your life that this “story” created when you were tiny child is who you are and so you go around making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“What I know for sure is this:  You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more.  To be more splendid.  To be more extraordinary” – Oprah

There are days when I get a lot of Facebook friend requests on my personal FB page.  I am part of several large groups and whenever they have an influx of new people on their fan page, a number of people will friend request everyone in the group.  It might also be that people figure out I am the founder of LemonadeMakers and request my personal Facebook friend page too.

Then there are some requests from men who think Facebook is a dating app.  I try to screen them out but once in a while one makes it through.  When they say they like my smile – which is the usual first comment they make, I immediately think something negative like that’s because you don’t see the rest of me.

Do you do that? What is it that causes you to turn away from a compliment about your looks, the quality of your work – anything that seems personal? People could compliment you about your children or grandchildren and you wouldn’t turn away from the compliment. Only if it is personal about you do the alarm bells go off.

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start” – Nido Qubein

There was a commercial video I saw a few months back talking about the phrase “sorry” when we mean “excuse me”. It was about how often you apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong. It was by Pantene the shampoo company and it really reflected how many times you use it when you really mean something else.  A turnaround of this commercial is great.  Showing scene after scene of women who did not require validation from anyone else in the room.  Women who walked in and owned the room, like the leaders that they in truth are.  You don’t have to be the main character in “The Devil Wears Prada” to be successful, but you can take charge without apology.

You open an office door to talk to someone and say “sorry”. You brush by someone and say “sorry”. The list goes on.  Share this with someone to help you keep track of how many times you do this for the next few weeks or watch to see how many times you see it happen.  See how many times you or another woman says “sorry” when what should be said is “excuse me”. The suggestion is that we feel undeserving, and so say “I’m Sorry” for taking up your time, for taking up space, for thinking that you might have something to contribute.

Pantene Commerical

“Take charge, and don’t apologize for it” – Elite Daily

Sheryl Sandberg was really talking about this when she said, “we’ve got to get women to sit at the table.” She talked about how she went to a conference room for a meeting and the women were not sitting at the conference table, they were sitting around the table in the extra chairs against the wall. They were doing this even though there were empty seats at the conference table.

You need to stop letting other people who lack courage or determination to follow through on their dreams, stop you from doing so with yours.  You need to live your truth, and trust that you are more than worthy to sit at the table.  You need to live your truth and honor what you have to contribute.

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you:  I am here to live out loud” – Emile Zola

She felt that a big piece of why we don’t take a seat at the table is because we don’t want the label of “bossy” and the other “B” word when we take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be as ambitious as a man. You should ask for what you want – the raise, the promotion, to take the lead. You shouldn’t be afraid to be told you have a beautiful smile.

So, I am ending this with my most favorite quote by Marianne Williamson because – How dare any of us settle for less when the world is waiting for us to be remarkable!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” – Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Be The Change You Want To See

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do.  Fail at it.  Try again. Do better the second time.  The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.  This is your moment.  Own it”  – Oprah

In order to stand out, one must be different. I have always loved the saying “why fit in when you were born to stand out?” by Dr. Seuss. For me it was really hard to make this change, as I had spent most of my life being invisible.

I love using the analogy of a rainbow. It isn’t just made up of red, yellow, blue, green, pink, and purple. It is made up of 100 of shades of every color, and every mix of color imaginable. Take just the 1,000’s of shade combinations of purple in the rainbow. While you might think that no one will notice if one shade is not shining brightly, the rainbow is diminished in its beauty when that happens. It requires every single shade to be there, in order to be the beautiful promise of God. We require every one of you to shine brightly to deliver the promise of God, which he made when he sent you to this earth.

“Let excellence be your brand . . .  When you are excellent, you become unforgettable.  Doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you’re doing the right thing, will always bring the right thing to you”  – Oprah

At work the panel of lights over about 10 desks in a row for some reason turns itself off and on by itself.  Since we are surrounded by windows you don’t really notice as it slowly fades to the off position.  It does a gradual shut down.  But when it turns back on 20 minutes or so later, you really notice the brightness of the light.  I missed it subconsciously.  It is funny how while I always notice when the lights have turned back on, I don’t notice the gradual turning off.  I think that leadership is like this.  You may be busy doing your work and not notice right away when leadership is missing – but when it shows up, fully turned on, you notice right away.

Be Unstoppable, Create A Living Legacy

“Love is the bridge between you and everything that you desire”  – Rumi

You came into this world to learn, to experience what life is about, and to leave a legacy.  Moral integrity is a huge part of the story of your legacy.

“Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends.  It’s the longest lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs” – Steve Saint

Have you seen the Tom Hanks movie, “Bridge of Spies”?  It is based on a true story, taking place after WWII.  I found it very interesting how he was able to stick to what he knew to be right, even when it endangered his life and that of his family. He didn’t just accept the self justification that most would of, “you do what you can, cut your losses and accept what is left”.

“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved”  – Unknown

Because he was a man of high integrity and morals, he was able to do what no one else could do. He literally was able to move mountains, because of his moral integrity.  While he couldn’t prevent the guilty verdict for his client (he was guilty), he was able to maneuver the judge into a prison sentence instead of the death penalty. Then when his prediction came true about needing him for a future hostage negotiation, he was able to negotiate the return of an American pilot. And when destiny threw in a twist, he negotiated a second hostage return – a two for one, thereby freeing the innocent college student who got caught behind the Berlin Wall.

“Immortality is to live your life doing good things, and leaving your mark behind”  – Brandon Lee

Mystical Journeys

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware”  – Martin Buber

Going Beyond The Possible Is Where Wisdom Is Found

To me knowledge isn’t just about books, school, or job training – places where you learn something new. Sometimes you learn something that seems simple, but on closer examination you see how this one thought changes everything you knew. It turns your world upside down, because you realize that the story that you have been telling yourself was based on bad information.

It is like when you are watching a detective on a TV show solve a murder mystery.  All of the evidence seems to be pointed to the one person. Then they discover one clue and that whole shows shifts as they follow that thread to the real murderer.  Every new thing that we learn is like the thread. Unfortunately in real life, detective’s that refuse to see anything but their initial thought are the ones that put the wrong person in jail.

You need to be open to following the thread, no matter where it leads you.  You need to allow what you think you know for sure, to be flexible enough for you to let go of what no longer fits.  Don’t be like those detective’s that allow their pride, unconscious bias, or prejudices to keep them from catching the real bad guy.  The new information becomes the new belief.

“Knowledge without wisdom is like water in the sand” – Guinean Proverb

I remember that the church I went to when I was a teenager had a rumor going around that one of the women who attended had a new boyfriend. Someone had seen her at a restaurant hugging a strange man, and they had kissed each other. When she was finally asked about it, it took her a minute to realize that they were talking about her meeting her brother. He was passing through town and they met for dinner. The story was wrong. The truth changed the whole dynamic of what was witnessed. This happens in our schools with history, science, etc . .  where the school books become outdated.  New information is discovered that changes the story.

This makes this concept of learning new knowledge, and letting something go make perfect sense. Each new thing that you learn, usually requires an adjustment of your viewpoint or story around something. You take in the new knowledge, getting curious about it, and that is what I think leads to wisdom. Tennyson observed, “knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers”.  It is experience that takes the knowledge to a new level.  And we can only gain experience by either creating some sort of action around it, or watching as someone else creates an action around it.

“Doubt is the key to knowledge” – Proverb

Wisdom to me is more than just an observation. I have always said that I would rather learn from the mistakes of others than make them myself. If I see someone touch a hot stove and get burned, I am determined to make sure that the stove isn’t hot before I touch it. It is a process of following where the knowledge leads. Asking the “why” and the “what if” questions.  Not letting someone inform you that you can’t do it that way.

It involves looking at the way something “has always been done” and saying why?  Is there a way to improve this process or do it differently?  It is all about following multiple pathways to determine the best use of the knowledge.  This is how companies like Uber stepped in and changed an industry.  It is why Richard Branson ended up creating Virgin Airlines.  It is taking existing knowledge and saying, “What else is possible?” and then doing something about it.

They say that you can’t communicate or teach wisdom. I don’t know that I believe that entirely. I think that teaching stories do that if one is listening with an ear to, “how can I apply that in my life” kind of attitude. I agree that many people may not use that filter when they are listening, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t learn to.

There was a kind of fad years ago that started in the religious communities (I think?) where when you were going to make a decision you would ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”.  I remember this because my son who was in high school at the time and was a real joker, would say “What would  Chuck Norris do?”  It really doesn’t matter who your person is, as long as they have the kind of wisdom that you are trying to incorporate into your life.

• Wisdom stepping outside of the emotion you might be feeling at the moment.
• Wisdom is allowing the knowledge you have at the moment to settle down.
• Wisdom is stopping to think about potential courses of actions and possible consequences.
• Wisdom is thinking about both intended and unintended consequences.
• Wisdom is taking the time to examine and find the holes in your knowledge. (if you think that you don’t have any, think again).
• Wisdom is determining the best course of action based on all of the above.

If you can find a mentor that you think is a really wise person, (like Jesus) and ask yourself that question before you take action, wisdom will show up in your actions.

I think that imagination comes into play with Tennyson’s observation that “knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers”. If you take what you now know and play with it down the pathways of imagination, not only will wisdom be revealed, you have the opportunity to increase the knowledge with new discoveries.  This is where I think that some of the modern day inventions came down from the last century.

A writer dreamed up something fantastic for his story line.  Maybe it was Captain Nemo and the submarine and the deep sea divers.  Then a scientist read that story and said, “I think I can invent something like that”.  So they started experimenting and through trial and error came up with something.  It wasn’t yet what he really wanted, but it was a first step.

Other brilliant minds got involved and we ended up with all kinds of inventions for moving through the seas and exploring the deeps.  But it all began in the mind of someone who was using his imagination for a story to tell.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see” –  Henry David Thoreau

So learn something new everyday. Use your imagination, be curious and see what pathways it leads you down. Be adventurous, always seek out the “why”. Miracles will happen if you use your energy to bring your dreams into reality. Live your life fully into the possibilities of “What if?” and “Why not?”. Remember that you are made of stardust and shine brightly.

Native American Wisdom

May the sun bring you new energy by day.  May the moon softly restore you by night.  May the rain wash away your worries.  May the breeze blow new strength into your being.  May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

  – Apache Blessing

In my family we have a story that has been passed down through the generations.  My great great grandmother was orphaned at a young age.  She was adopted into a family and they decided to immigrate out west on the Oregon Trail.  Somewhere along what is now Wyoming and Idaho, the wagon train was raided and my great great grandmother was taken captive.  The family story only talks about her being a child, but not an age.  She grew up and had two little girls.  One day a French Canadian Trapper was trading with this tribe and spotted her.  Late that evening he snuck back into the Indian camp and was able to get her alone.  He asked if she wanted to return to her people.  She said yes, but she wouldn’t leave without her daughters.  So they made arrangements to meet the next day.

For two days my great grandmother traveled in the back of the wagon hidden in an old barrel.  She was told not to make a sound or they would all be killed.  After two days the trapper felt safe enough to let the girls out of the barrel.  They ended up near Eugene, Oregon.  My grandfather would not admit that he was part Indian.  He was too ashamed.  He feared the prejudice.  By contrast his sisters kids all attended the Indian School.

Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.

  – Black Elk

My husband family has a story that is recorded in the Indian Archives of his Great Great Grandfather, who was a Cherokee Indian living in Georgia when the Trail of Tears happened.  His story is of an American Indian who married a white woman with the last name of Tisdale.  They had one son.  Love Deer, my husbands ancestor was the sheriff in their town.  He saw what was happening after gold was discovered in the Indians land.  He saw the hardship of the “relocation” of the Indians of his tribe.  He saw finally that no matter how “white” he became it would never be good enough and he knew that the day had finally come when he would be forced to relocate with his family.

Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.

 –  Sitting Bull

Instead he took his rifle and went out into the woods.  He lodged the rifle in a tree and shot and killed himself.  He knew that his wife’s family would be able to keep her safe if he was gone.  The whole story was recorded when my husbands Great Grandfather came of age and wanted to get his Cherokee Citizenship.  It is all handwritten from several different families, some who were relatives and some who personally knew the story.

As you develop your awareness in nature, you begin to see how we influence all life and how all life influences us.  A key and critical feature for us to know.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

So there came a time when both of us wanted to become more familiar with our heritage.  I always thought that the two of us falling in love with stories from opposite sides of the fence was like the circle being completed.  A time of making everything whole.

By awakening the Native American teachings you come to the realization that the earth is not something simply that you build upon and walk upon and drive upon and take for granted.  It is a living entity.  It has consciousness.

  – Edgar Cayce

I know that this photo is not of an Apache Indian, but it was the closest I could find that fit the prayer.  What my husband and I both discovered is the wisdom of our ancestors was so in tune with the earth.  Whenever one group of people would go to subjugate another, they would justify their wars with how the people were savages, heathens, and somehow a lessor species of mankind.  When you read the stories of Black Elk, and others.  When you read about what the white man did to the Indians in order to destroy them, the term savages takes on a whole new meaning.

When you are inspired to be and do your best, you find everything is right in your world.  Your influence is operating at its highest level and it is the time to influence others in gratitude.

  – Tony Ten Fingers

Just like all peoples, they had very wise men, and they had hot headed men of war.  Every story has my version, your version, and then another and another version to it.  What has to happen at some point in time, is that all become committed to peace.  History can’t be changed.  Those impacted by it are dead.  Those of us who are ancestors carry the history with us.  But that history doesn’t have to become a heavy weight that destroys us still to this day.  It isn’t what the wise men taught.  These are just a few of my favorite quotes, because they are ageless and you would have thought that they belonged to a spiritual master living today. Good wisdom never becomes dated and it is advice we all need to think about for our own lives.

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of the people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Wakan-Tanka (the Great Spirit), and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.  This is real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.

The second peace is that which is made between two individuals.

The third is that which is made between two nations.

But above all you should understand  that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace, which as I have often said,. is within the souls of men.

  – Black Elk

Warriors are not what you think of as warriors.  The warrior is not someone who fights, because no one has the right to take another life.  The warrior, for us, is one who sacrifices himself for the good of others.  His task is to take care of the elderly, the defenseless, those who can not provide for themselves, and above all, the children, the future of humanity.

  – Sitting Bull

It was our belief that the love of possessions is a weakness to be overcome.  Its appeal is to the material part, and if allowed its way, it will in time disturb one’s spiritual balance.  Therefore, children must early learn the beauty of generosity. They are taught to give what they prize most, that they may taste the happiness of giving.

  – Ohiyesa (Charles Alexander Eastman)

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The Road To Success Is Discovered By Trying One More Time

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.

  – Unknown

The mind and the eye are an interesting thing to think about in regards to our dreams.  The eye sees so much more than the mind can allow in.  We all have what is known as a reticular activator which acts as a filter for our brains.  What the eyes sees gets filtered into things that form a picture in our mind or what we are seeing.

Think about certain things that happen in your life.  Two examples might be getting pregnant (you or your significant other) or buying a new car.  When we aren’t getting a new car or pregnant, we are not interested in those things.  Our reticular activator screens that information away from us – because it isn’t something we are paying attention to.

But the minute we are pregnant we start seeing pregnant women everywhere we go.  We didn’t see any yesterday and now today already we have seen five pregnant women.  Same thing with buying that new car.  Driving down the freeway in our new car, we are passing or being passed by people driving a car just like ours.  We go shopping and see two cars just like ours parked in the lot.  Where were they yesterday?  They were there, they were just being filtered out.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

  – Unknown

I bring this up because we tend to make judgments about how things are working out by what we see with our physical eyes and mind.  But they can’t be 100% reliable because of our filtering system.  So sometimes this is why the heart and mind are in disagreement.  The heart isn’t being filtered by what the eyes see.  It sees from a totally different perspective.  It knows the blueprint of our dreams.  It looks only for ways to bring those dreams into reality.  So it makes plans, not on filtered information, but on information imprinted on our heart by God.

The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.

  – Unknown

I think that a lot of what becomes that one dream that drives us is because of our own life experience.  If we were lonely children, we tend to want to make sure that other children are never lonely.  That could mean that we are teachers, or in some way child advocates.  Maybe we entered the field of being a therapist.  Maybe we adopted children or work as a foster parent.  In some way, our career, our bent in how we live life would grow in such a way that we could help children not be lonely.  Whatever “damage” we feel in our lives, comes out in a compassionate way of helping others never having to suffer the way that we have.

I’m a damaged person, but I have hope and a will to not give up.

  – Juliana Hatfield

Hope is what keeps us going.  Our hope keeps us strong.  There are hills and valleys on every journey.  We have to travel through swamps and deserts.  Hope helps us motivate towards our goal.  When the rains come, the winds blow and the lightning strikes, we may have to take cover and rest until the storm passes, but that doesn’t mean that we are quitting.  We never give up our hope no matter how hard the situation is right now.

A strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry.  A strong person is the one who cries and sheds tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again.

  – Unknown

Sometimes that hope is just a thread, but as long as we act like it is a strong rope we can keep hope alive.  In watching a series called “Home Fires” there is a scene where the parents get that telegram stating that their son has been lost at sea during a battle in WWII.  The wife gets it and because she can’t bear to read it, she hides it in the kitchen.  If she doesn’t see the words, they won’t be true.  The husband finds it and is devastated, and confronts her.  He opens it and reads it and she looks at him with hope in her eyes.  It didn’t say he was dead – it said lost at sea.

Never give up until you’ve given out all your very best.  It’s better to fail trying than wondering what could have happened if you tried . . .

  –  Unknown

 There is a part of us that says, there is no way her son is still alive.  There is another part of us that clings to hope.  That clings to all of the miracle stories we have heard when someone survives something they shouldn’t have survived.  What you have to determine in your heart, is what kind of person do you want to be?  The person that hopes and prays for a miracle, or the person who has no hope.

Keep the faith.  The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope.

  – Unknown

In the past few months we have seen a lot of turmoil in our world.  There may be days when the news stories make you sad, disappointed, heartbroken or even scarred with what seems to be so much hatred being played out in the papers, TV and online.  Remember our reticular activator when everything seems so depressing.  What do we have our filters programed to see?

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.

  – Camille Pissarro

The kindness that is happening in front of us; that we can find it we look for it online, and in the news.  Or do we have it programmed to find signs of racial hatred, unrest, violence.  The saying is that our life is directed by what we pay attention to.  So we need to make sure that those filters are showing us mankind’s wonderful qualities – they are there.  They just aren’t what sells papers or gets the ratings.  I think that one of the greatest things we could shift in our world is that – the ratings came from stories that reflects the wonderful things that happen around the world on a daily basis.  That we didn’t sensationalize the less than 1% and ignore the 99%.

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