Live An Inspirational Life

 

“There are two primary choices in life:  To accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them”  – Dr. Denis Waitley

You can choose to be affected by the world or you can choose to affect the world. This little girl is not thinking consciously about affecting someone’s life, but she is doing so nonetheless. When you are walking down life’s path it is not just coincidence, happenstance, and luck, that you experience. It is an unexplainable, magically chartered course. That is what you see when you look at this girl. 

The girl in this photo isn’t seeing any limitations about what she can see, be or do. She hasn’t yet bought into the story of limitations. For her life is still simple. It can be that way for you too. You don’t have to make everything be complicated. It can be fun, instead of an adrenalin fueled drama of “guess what happened to me today?” It can instead be a joyful, “Guess what happened for me today?” 

Same story, just a different way of looking at it. If you just take a moment to step back from what is happening and say silently to yourself, “I wonder what happens next?” You give your brain a chance to go into curiosity, instead of drama, and you experience a better life.

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make” -Jane Goodall

Every person who is, or ever has been a part of your life, changed your life, and you changed theirs. You could put labels on the changes, and call them positive and negative. The truth is that most are simply neither. The story that you tell yourself about them, is what gives them the positive or negative charge in your memory.

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you are wasting your time.  Your life will become better my making other people’s lives better”  – Will Smith

You never know what will happen in your life.  Sometimes something horrible and unforeseen happen.  You go to a peace rally and a terrorist plows his car into a crowd of people and takes the life of a beautiful young woman.  Her parents and friends lose someone they loved and were so proud of.  At the service, they talk about what a wonderful person she was.  You can see how much she meant to so many.  The circumstances of her death have in fact projected her into being a hero.  Someone who stood up for others.  Someone who cared about others, and had a true moral code she lived by.  That is how it plays out in so many peoples lives.  We stand up and talk about them after they are gone. 

From what you hear and read about this young woman, she fits this quote because her death is certainly waking up humanity:

“If you want to awaken all humanity, then awaken all of yourself.  If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.  Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self transformation”  – Lao Tzu

But how much do we communicate about the important things to our friends and family while they are here?  My Uncle Paul got a thank you post on his Facebook page from someone that was best friends with his son when they were growing up. It reminded me of how we all have memories of someone special in our lives that affected us in such a way, that they changed how we saw the world,.  They changed who we chose to be in the world by their actions. Most of the time we never know how we affected someone, because they don’t think to express it. 

Most of the time, our family finds out about it at our funeral, when they feel moved to talk about what we meant to them. This post reminded me of how important it is to say these things to people while they are still alive to hear it.

I edited it slightly, but here is the post. “Hello Paul, hope things are going well for you. I am sending you this note because I wanted you to know that I think of you often. I have never shared this with anyone before, but I have always considered you as my second father. I have tried to model myself after special traits from both my real father and from you.. One of your many special traits that I recognized early on was your very high degree of patience. One example that I think about often, is watching you make constant repairs to your hay bailer. When that damn thing broke you always were ready to fix it with huge degrees of patience, no cussing and no throwing of wrenches. Just fix it, even if the project took all day. And fix it you would. That has to be another one of your special traits, you seemed to be able to do anything and fix anything with confidence. You played a huge role in developing my love for the outdoors. So thank-you for that important role.”

He does a wonderful job of describing my uncle. He is a mechanical wizard. He is very methodical and I don’t remember him ever losing his patience with us, and we certainly did things as young kids that would have tried it. 

What I really loved about this heartfelt expression is that it was just my Uncle being his authentic self that impacted this young man. It wasn’t some heroic act, or awesome talent, it was how he handled himself on a daily basis as he worked on his farm. It was how he made this young man feel.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

The lesson here is to be your authentic self.  To live on purpose in everything you do in your daily life.  To pursue what sets your soul on fire.  But how do you go about chasing those dreams you have?  Because when you are doing that, you are living a truly magical life.  An inspirational life.  A life that truly impacts and changes not only those you know, but the millions of people around the world you don’t know around the world.  Why?  Because living your life on purpose fulfills your God given destiny.

 

Reflect What You Desire, Mirror What You Admire

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it” – Ernest Holmes

This is a great time to reflect back on what transpired for the past few months of your life. What happened to the goals or resolutions that you set for the year? Did you achieve them? Did you give up on them? Did you rise up or fall down?

If you look at your reflection in the water, you see the outer surface of you, looking back at you. But if you put your hand through the reflection, you can see what lies beneath.

The question I always ask myself is “why am I doing this to myself? How can I do better?”

It’s in the looking at what’s beneath the fears of self-sabotage that you can see what is holding you back.  Then you can pierce the illusion(s) to find the real truth.

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours” – Thegoodquote

Looking back helps you to see what you want to bring into your life.

• I trust that I deserve unconditional love.
• I trust that I can have happiness and success every day in my life.
• I trust my wings and fly. 
• I trust that I am right were I need to be, and that this year is going to be an amazing year.

It is not the things that happened in your life that define you, but how you coped and adjusted through them, that made you who you are today.

• Release this fear that became a protection. 
• Release that will power alone can make a transformation.
• Release the self destructive way of thinking.

“You can be stunned, awakened, and changed by what happens to you, but choose to grow from it, and refuse to be reduced by it”– Unknown

2022 is a year for deep self-reflection.  The past few months new things have been brought up from the depths beneath the surface and released.  Wars, a global pandemic, Black Lives Matter, Police brutality, a personal loss of income, stay at home orders, teaching children from home, working from home, and on and on.

“Self reflection is a humbling process.  It’s essential to find out why you think, say, and do certain things . . .   then better yourself”  – Sonya Teclai

You are working on being a better person, and that includes your body, mind and soul.  So the reflection that you see right now, is showing you who you were. So reflect back to it, who you want to be.

“The ability to honestly and quietly reflect on one’s life is one of the most powerful tools for personal growth” – Richard Carlson

I saw a photo years ago of Carrie Fischer and Harrison Ford.  The article asked why it was ok for Harrison Ford to have aged, but not ok for Carrie Fischer – they were talking about 40 years ago when they filmed the first Star Wars movie to the start of the new Star Wars movie series how much she had aged. It is really sad that someone feel the need to say negative things about how someone looks.   Harrison Ford had aged too, but no one was commenting about that.   

Speaking in this way didn’t help anyone. I think Carrie Fischer was an amazing woman, who had her struggles, just like all of us. She was courageous because she did it in the public eye, and said what she thought. The way she was upfront about mental illness puts her in the category of being a hero in my book.  

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy.  This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small.  My judgment called it disloyal.  Now I see it as self-loving” – Kim McMillen

It means that you can say this to your own reflection:  “I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else.  It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times.  It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do.  It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. 

“I love you, means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them”  – Jonathan Safran Foer

So what do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired of holding up the mirror, I put it down.  🙂

 

To All Of The Dreamers

 

“Set a goal so big, that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can” – Unknown

I don’t think that the importance of big dreams can be over emphasized.  When you were a small child, you believed that you could do anything, because your mom and dad said so.  Then as you grew older, you would try things and fail.  Because it doesn’t feel good to fail, you started putting limits on what you could do.

So, now as an adult when you set goals to bring a dream into reality, you typically made it something that you felt comfortable could be achieved.  It stays inside of the comfort zone.  Which defeats the purpose of the dream before you even get started.

“It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting” – Paulo Coelho

You have to trust in divine destiny.  In the fact that you have a purpose in being here at this moment in time.  That if it has been planted in your heart and soul, then it is yours to do.  It is a different kind of trust than you are used to.  You think that trust is something that is earned by how you behave and act.

This kind of trust though is different because it is not based on past actions.  It is based on your being willing to accept the risk.  No guarantees.  Not because it is safe or certain that this is the right way to fulfill that life purpose or destiny.  It could in fact be the failure that turns you to a completely different path, that leads to that destiny or life purpose.  The trust is that no matter what happens it will serve you.

Your dreams need to be bigger than your fears, because that is how they grow you.  If you don’t have faith in your ability to do something, or be something that you have never been or done, then there’s really nothing to believe in.  This is because you will just go through life doing things you know you can do.  And that is not accomplishing any dreams.

Unless you can imagine your dreams of doing something totally outside of your comfort zone coming true, they can’t get a purchase in your reality. Remember that you grow with your dreams, so they need to feel impossible in order to grow you. So, reach for the stars and change not only your world, but the world around you.

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams” – Oprah

Think of the Wright Brothers and the airplane.  Think of President Kennedy and the “Moon Shot”.  Think of Roger Bannister who had been told that if he actually ran a four-minute mile he would die in the attempt.  Think of Felix Baumgartner who jumped to the earth from a helium balloon in the stratosphere.  He actually broke the sound barrier with his body he was coming down so fast.

All of these people did amazing things because they got out of their comfort zones.  Because they were willing to bust through their fear of failure and dare greatly to accomplish a dream.  A dream so powerful that no one believed it could actually be done.  So how did they do it?  What is their secret?

This means a couple of things have to happen.  You have to put action to the things you want to accomplish.  Your faith has to be stronger than the negative mind talk that is going to try and drown out those actions, into never getting off the ground.  Dreams are life realities waiting for you to make them come true.

• If you don’t feel scared.,
• If you don’t think that your dreams are impossible,
• If you don’t feel like quitting almost every day,

then your dreams aren’t big enough.

“Life is tough, my darling. But so are you” – Stephanie Bennett Henry

So, laugh a lot and realize how truly blessed life can be when you are dancing after your dreams.  It is what the answer is to feeling stuck, bored, and unhappy.  You just need to birth a new dream in your life.

So DARE TO FAIL and WAKE UP and LIVE!

It is reaching into your creative mind saying “I wonder if” to yourself as you think about what your logical mind has said is impossible.  Then you catch a whisp of an idea, that leads you down the rabbit hole.  There is a possibility here you say.  It will probably fail.  But if it did work, then wouldn’t that be wonderful?  And before you know it, it’s become inevitable that it is going to work!

“Some of us let those great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true” – W Wilson

Hello Beautiful!

We tend to live our lives based on what we believe about ourselves, our world, our capabilities and our limits.  Where do those beliefs come from?  More often than not they come from what other people have told us, history, science, religion, culture, family.  What if they’re wrong? – Gregg Braden

Growing up in my family we were assigned these roles.  I was the smart one.  My younger sister was the pretty one.  The Twins were just the twins – mirror images in looks but opposites in actions.  My fourth sister was blond and so different.  My youngest sister was the pest, and my baby brother was the spoiled boy.  I went through most of my life believing that I couldn’t be both pretty and smart – it was one or the other, so because I was smart according to everyone else, I couldn’t possibly be pretty too.

Since I also had the belief that it wasn’t safe to be seen, I didn’t mind not being pretty.

It is interesting how I have always reacted to compliments that are not about my being smart.  If someone comments on my photo for example it makes me uncomfortable because it went against an unconscious belief from my childhood.  I always felt like they were not being honest, they were just being nice.

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future – Deepak Chopra

It is kind of funny, but Facebook has actually helped me to release most of this belief.  It has happened in a strange way, because a lot of men try to use Facebook to meet women.  I am sure that this has happened to most of you.  Complete strangers want to be your Facebook friend.  It never occurred to me that this would happen because they were interested in me, I thought it was because they read my posts and liked them.

So, when I would get personal messages that indicated what they were really after I was shocked.  Now while I now screen my friends’ invitations, it did help me to release this belief.  These men and one woman (lol) didn’t know me, so they weren’t just being “nice”.  They saw something that attracted them.

It is kind of funny how your perceptions can literally change things.  They did this study years ago they called Pygmalion in which they were going to give this class an IQ test.  The researchers told the teacher that 5 students who would perform the best.  The teacher wasn’t told that these 5 children were just randomly picked.

From the teacher’s perception these were the 5 brightest students.  The test confirmed that these 5 students were the best in the class.  The teacher’s viewpoint impacted those students.  Something in the way she taught, the feedback she gave, something she did, made those five students “smarter”.

What we are told as children, from our parents, our teachers, our friends and relatives – what the expectations are for our behavior – subconsciously they motivate us to make them true.  Whatever negative beliefs you have about you, you filter through life’s experiences to make them come true for you.  You get what you expect.

The mind and the body are like parallel universes.  Anything that happens in the mental universe must leave tracks in the physical one – Deepak Chopra

The great news is that once you recognize what these unconscious beliefs are, you can change them.  This morning I had to wait for the Microsoft upgrades to finish before I could finish this post.  Every month or so, your computer gets program upgrades.  In this same way, you have the ability to give yourself a program upgrade.  You can change your reality by changing your beliefs.  By creating new expectations.

When you heal damaging beliefs about yourself, you remove limitations which are restricting your personal growth.

If you feel like you are pushing the boulder up a hill about anything in your life right now, examine what your beliefs are around what you are trying to accomplish.  Realize that this belief is not true.  That it probably came from a childhood experience that you then spent every year since proving was true.  And now you have the opportunity to release that belief and upgrade to a new program or belief.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate – Carl Jung

It is amazing how everything changes when you do this.  It is like the hose was turned on full blast, but because you had a kink in the hose, you were only getting a drop or two at a time.  Releasing the false belief, unkinks the hose, and your life rushes forward in the direction you were trying to go.  That boulder you were pushing uphill turns into a sled sliding down the hill at top speed.

So, I encourage you to find one limiting belief you have, release it as a misunderstanding, and upgrade that belief into something that serves you.

Trust Without Reservation And Take A Leap Of Faith

 

Updated 7/30/2018

Adventures are how we grow and realize the hidden strengths that are inside each of us. Each day we have the opportunity to start a new adventure.  We can go on this adventure solo, or we can have partners that join us.  It can be a business adventure or a personal journey to explore who we are now and who we can grow into.  The choice of destination can be a fixed point, or it can be left open for divine guidance to take us to where the most growth can happen.  The trust in the first case is that we did our homework and prepared for everything possible, and are ready for the impossible to show up.  In the latter case, the trust is that whatever the divine throws at us to stimulate the growth is something that we can not only handle, but conquer and be victorious over.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.

  – Henry Miller

Martha Beck in her book, “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World” speaks about leaps of faith. She says that the term for a collective (like herd of cows) for leopards is a “leap”. A leopard will leap up into the branches of a tree with an antelope carcass in its mouth that outweighs it. Each time the leopard leaps, it is an act of faith that it will make it up onto a branch 10 feet above it. If the leopard doesn’t make it, it could mean it’s death, as it would most likely land on its back with the weight of the antelope on top of it.  Put yourself in that space and ask yourself – have you have truly ever taken such a leap of faith?

Everyone needs someone who will call and say, “get dressed, we’re going on an adventure”. 

  – Whisper

She goes on to say that each time we face an unknown, with creativity instead of grasping at known quantities, we leap. Each time we dare to think that our art (I insert here whatever your personal genius is) can sustain us financially we leap. She reflects that each time we surrender to the way things want to happen (not under our control), we leap.  When was the last time that you truly surrendered to the divine guidance?  That you truly followed the saying , “let go and let God”?  It is the acknowledgement that we don’t have the answers.  That we want to continue the adventure.  That we are letting go of expectations.  That we are letting go of our own brains “ideas” of how things should be.  That we are letting go of the safety nets.  That we are stepping out onto the tightrope,and one step at a time we are walking across,.  That we are trusting our inner guidance to be the balance we need to get to the other side – whatever and wherever that is.

I highly recommend any of Martha Beck’s books and especially this book – I bookmarked it for you to check out. http://amzn.to/1Xbnz56

What we discover when we leap, is what we are really made of. Do we shrink back at the challenges or opportunities that present themselves to us? Do we pass by the aid of angelic guides, because we think that what we see isn’t the answer we were looking for? That one is too easy, this one is too hard? Then when we find what we think is the perfect one, we get scared off by a family of bears?

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are.  The second greatest is being happy with what you find.

  – Picturequotes.com

Today I took a leap. trusting in the magic of my soul. Today was the day that I took a deep breath, let go of certainty, trusted my heart, and leaped into “seeing what happens next.”

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.

  – D Elton Trueblood

So today we traded in all of our fears for faith and trust without reservation in divine guidance.  Those who are curious have the best adventures, just ask Alice about her adventures in Wonderland. In traveling, we think that we are losing ourselves.  Leaving behind the world that we know with all of its limitations and obligations.  Instead, when we travel we find ourselves.  We rediscover who we are and what is important.  We open ourselves to the infinite stream of possibilities and wonder.  Adventure fills your soul.

Only those who will risk going to far can possibly find out how far they can go.

  – T.S. Eliot

I think of Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz. She learned so much about herself with her adventures. She had her companions with her, just as I do today. I don’t know the “how” part of this decision. But I listened to my heart, which said that it is the right decision. Dorothy didn’t know the “how” of getting home, but she listened to Glenda and set out on the journey.

It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.

  – Ursula K. LeGuin

Glenda the Good Witch tells her at the end, “you had the power to go home from the very beginning”, so Dorothy of course asks, “why didn’t you tell me?” Because Glenda said, “you would not have believed it. You had to learn it by yourself.”

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have always imagined.

  – Henry David Thoreau

The same is true for me, and you. Adventures is how we learn what are powers are, and what we are capable of creating together. 

Faith is the daring of the soul to go further than it can see.

  –  (from Godfruits.com)

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What Barriers To Love Are Inside Of Me?

Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” As I learned to love myself, my relationship with everyone changed. 

Loving myself lead to a clarity of my mind and heart. It gave me the courage to say “no more” hiding behind the masks. To say “no more” living in fear of what others will think of me. To say “yes” to me! The heavy armor I had built around me to protect me was in fact made of fear and stress. As I dropped it all behind me, I was left floating free in joy and freedom.  I learned that I must be the ultimate believer in myself first.

I knew in my bones why I was here on earth. I may not always be clear on what to do next, but I am clear as crystal as to where I am going. Clarity of mind is how you find purpose in life. It in turn is linked to clarity of passion, which is the fire of your soul to fulfill your purpose.

I believe that when we tear down the barriers we have built against loving ourselves, that we dispel the veils of illusion that obscure the direction of our life path. Love is an energy that engages us in life in a whole new way. Maya Angelou said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

Life is about breaking our own limitations. It is about outgrowing who we were. It is about living our lives, by outgrowing ourselves over and over. It is about being curious and opening doors and finding new paths to explore.

Do You Have The Courage To Break Those Chains And Redefine Your Life?

When we are at the airport and getting ready to check our luggage, they always ask, “Has anyone asked you to carry something for them in your luggage?  Has anyone else packed your bags?”  Have you ever wondered how much of what weighs you down is not yours to carry?  What beliefs do you carry around in your baggage that don’t really belong to you?  When we unpack the stories in our luggage, what we find is that we are carrying around stories that belong to our parents, our grandparents, our family, culture, tribe.  Most of those stories are not ours.  They are not who we are.  They belong to others and need to be unpacked, they need to be left with those that they really belong to.  That is the luggage that needs to be checked.  Release it.

“I can’t”. . . , “it’s not possible”. . . , “I’m not good enough”. . . , These are the lies the demons of your past use to scare away the possibilities of the present.

  –  Dr. Steve Maraboli

There is a movie that Lucille Ball made with her husband about a trip they were making in a car that was towing a big trailer.  Along the trip the character Lucille was playing kept putting in these large stones or rocks of everyplace they stopped.  Finally the weight was so much, they couldn’t tow the trailer up over the mountains.  This is the same for us. 

How many of us walk around being weighed down by the baggage of our journey?  You can’t possibly embrace that new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship, or that new life you want while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one.  Let go . . . , and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you right at your feet.

  – Dr. Steve Maraboli

Our mind has these filters.  They sort through everything that we see and do, looking for proof of our beliefs.  We carry with us all of these heavy stones, which are stories of our past.  At some point the weight of the stories will pull us down, if they are weighted with negativity.  We need to unpack all of the “I should of’s” and “I shouldn’t have’s” and leave those stones at the side of the road you are traveling on.  We need to lighten the load, by releasing everything negative.

I am like a book, with pages that have stuck together for want of use.  My mind needs unpacking and the truths stored within must be turned over from time to time, to be ready when occasion demands.

  –  Seneca

The problem with our stories, is that they are usually one sided.  This is because our “truth” is never the entire truth.  It takes courage to break those chains and redefine your own life.  What we need to do is examine all of those stories.  We need to unpack the stories and ask, why they are important?  What about our true values do they reflect?  What about them brings us joy and happiness?  What do they tell us from a space of self love and trust? When we focus our light on the things that build us up, the things that were dragging us down will disappear on their own.  They can’t exist in our authentic light of love and truth.

Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release

  – powerofpositivity.com

Our minds do not know the difference between actual events and our imagination.  Most of us carry these unconscious beliefs formed as a small child before we really understood what was really happening.  For example, when I was around four years old, I walked in on my mom having an affair.  Shortly thereafter my mom and dad divorced.  As a four year old, I assumed the responsibility of breaking up the marriage.  I felt that I wasn’t to be trusted, and that it wasn’t safe to be seen. 

That program ran my life all of my childhood and most of my adult life.  When I figured out what was creating the pattern of “my foot on the brake and gas at the same time”, I released that story.  I had nothing to do with the breakup of my parents marriage.  Now this pattern no longer shows up in my life.  Most of us have patterns created by a small child, that were made up by our imagination to explain something that we didn’t understand..

The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent.  The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience.

  –  Les Brown

So take a few moments and ask yourselves the questions we talked about.  Loosen up the load; put down the bags; unlock the chains and let them fall to the ground; unpack those bags.  Set yourself free.  Reminds me of the lyrics from 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover – Just slip out the back Jack and set yourself free.

Sometimes the most difficult part of any journey is believing that you’re worthy of the destination.  The one where you see that goal, that dream or what it is that you have always longed for.  You are brave enough to face the challenges and strong enough to see it through the end.  Never be afraid to take that first step.  With each new step, bringing you closer to it.  Believe it!  You can do it.

  – Brigitte Nicole

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Enter Into The Flow of An Ever Changing Life

 “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like”  – Lao Tzu

Every year in January the majority of us will set goals for the new year. You may call them New Years Resolutions or goals. They can be personal goals such as your weight or physical fitness goals, or business/financial goals. What ever they are they generally designed to enhance your life in some way. 

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way.  Instead let life live through you.  And do not worry that your life is turning upside down.  How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” –  Rumi

One thing that I have discovered about myself is realizing when I am pushing a goal to happen in a certain way or time frame, life gets frustrating and hard. But if I step back and look at my goal from the aspect of divine timing, I can usually see that the reason why the goal isn’t progressing. There is something that I am missing, something vital to make it happen. When the progress towards the goal starts to become pushing a boulder uphill, I know now to walk it backward down the hill until the pressure is released. 

“When we resist change, it’s called suffering.  But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called awakening…, Another word for that is freedom – freedom from struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human” –  Pema Chadron

I step back and re-look at what I am doing. Re-look at the time table. Re-examine the reasons behind the goal to see if I need to adjust what the goal is trying to accomplish. I love the analogy of flowing downstream in a river. There are these little bays or inlets, eddies in the river where you can float in stillness. In these places, you acquire knowledge, skills, make partnerships, etc.., things that will be needed later down river. You have a chance to examine and revise your goals based on new knowledge. Then when the timing is right, you re-enter into the river and flow further downstream. 

“People don’t resist change.  They resist being changed”  – Peter M Senge

When you step out of the river of change, you are trying to keep your comfort zone in place.  Change threatens your comfort zone.  In the process of trying to keep a stable, balanced comfort zone you step out of the river.  You damn up the divine flow of your life.

• What if . . , instead of using the word “change” which might be threatening, you substituted the word “becoming”.  You are not changing, you are becoming?
• What if . . , instead of thinking that your life is falling apart from the transitions that are happening, you instead saw your life falling together, falling into place?
• What if . . , instead of feeling like you are a puzzle with pieces falling to the ground, you saw yourself as letting go of what no longer belongs in your life?

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it”  – Lena Horne

Stop struggling against the load, Instead, relax and float. You can float for hours. It is the struggle that makes you exhausted, wastes all of your energy and breaks you down, so that you give up. The struggle and the pushing come from trying to force things to happen a certain way.  You can force your foot into a shoe one size too small, but you will only cause blisters and pain for yourself.  Drop the expectations,, stop pushing for change, and let it unfold with divine timing. 

“Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful” –  Gautama Buddha

Go within, where the wisdom and clarity reside. Instead of having to defend yourself, or prove something, you discover the compassion to simply let life flow forward and outward in simplicity.

“If you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe.  You will feel its rhythm. Go with this flow.  Happiness lies ahead.  Meditation is the key.”  Buddha

The way you meet an ending impacts the new beginning.  Or to put another way, the way you meet change impacts who you are becoming.  When a door opens for you, it’s not just something new entering into your life.  It’s your life becoming something new.

Change happens whether you want it to or not.  So stop fighting change.  Stop striving for perfection.  Trying to manage change only slows it down, and your experience of change will be impacted by negative emotions.  Instead embrace change.  Lean into it.  Discover what lessons it has to teach you.  Take a moment to become curious.  Trust that it is leading you into a better tomorrow.

Ending with my two favorite Bruce Lee quotes:

“Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend”  – Bruce Lee

And the second one is:

“There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there. You must go beyond them.  I wish you success in growing beyond any plateaus that you are currently experiencing in your life. Be water and flow” – Bruce Lee

Walk Away – Not From Pride Or Arrogance, But Because That Door No Longer Leads Somewhere You Can Live

We all stand at the threshold of a great adventure every day. It can be a scary place, because we all have our individual self doubts. We have to unlearn the programming that says it is selfish to put ourselves first. It is not selfish to love ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and make our own happiness a priority. As they say on every airplane takeoff, in case of emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, then you can help others. 

Every soul is beautiful and precious; is worthy of dignity and respect, and deserving of peace, joy, and love. 

 –  Bryant McGill

You cannot change what is going on around you, until you start changing what is going on inside of you. We need to put on that oxygen mask, so we can take stock of what inside of us is not working. We need to let go of what is not ours to fix, put up with, or allow to continue happening.

We are all born with a purpose and a passion.  It is up to you to seek out that purpose and find your passion.

 – Billy Cox

We are fragile human beings who can be destroyed by another’s words or actions. If we are not being treated with love and respect, we need to see what value we have assigned to ourselves. The people that we surround ourselves with are a reflection of how we view ourselves.  We need to get off the “reduced last chance sale rack”, and get inside the fancy glass case where the precious jewels are displayed.

You are determining the future you every day.  Will the decisions you make today lead you closer to the person you want to be tomorrow? 

– Brenna Smith

How many times for example has someone said, “Where to you want to go to dinner?” and your answer was that you didn’t know or didn’t care.  You do know what you feel like eating, but somehow, you always say, “it doesn’t matter, what you do want?”  The scriptures say something like, he who is faithful in little things, is faithful in bigger things.  What it is talking about is the principle of patterns.  What you do in the big things has been formed by the habits of what you do in the little things.  The habit of always putting others before you, started in the smaller things, like what do you want for dinner.

Be authentic!  Don’t lower your dreams to fit it with others.  If people can’t celebrate your dreams, they are probably not your friends.

 – Phineas Kinuthia

We may be afraid that no one will listen to us, so why speak.  We may be terrified that they will laugh at our dreams and say they are unattainable. We fear being judged as unworthy, not enough.  We don’t want to be all alone and so we abdicate our life away, so that we will be accepted and fit in. This is the story that we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to change.

Instead we can start making choices that feed us, energize us. We can choose to be unstoppable. To be bigger than any worries that are buzzing around us. Those buzzing worries are just scenario’s that no longer serve to build us up. Release what is no longer serving you. Open the window shooing the fly to go buzz its way outside.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is also the right thing to do.

The universe is always speaking to us . . . sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more.

– Nancy Thayer

You are more than you have shown yourself to be so far. You are more than you have been willing to see. You are stronger than you know. Trust your intuition and live a courageous life. 

Respect your efforts, respect yourself.  Self respect leads to self discipline.  When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.

– Clint Eastwood 

Today is the day to get up and walk down your sacred path. Choose to dwell in divine possibility. Awaken to the divine guidance that has been sending you messages. Believe in the divine plan, that you are more capable than you ever dreamed. Remember that you will never had to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.  If it feels like that is the choice, then your intuition is telling you to pass that choice by. 

Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.  

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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To Catch Your Dreams, You Have To Be Brave Enough To Chase Them

Have you ever heard of the question  – If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would you want to have to a dinner party?  Eleanor Roosevelt is on my list.  She seems to have been a remarkable woman.  Her advice?

“Do one thing everyday that scares you”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

I don’t live up to this quote, but I do try to do things that scare me.  First I procrastinate on them a little, though.  Most of the things that scare me, are things that I have never tried to do before.  So every year part of my goals, are to do things that I don’t currently know how to do.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you got your first bike?  I remember being so excited to be able to ride a bike like all of the bigger kids did.  It was a symbol of growing older.  A lot like getting your drivers license or turning 21, a true milestone.  First though you had to have training wheels. It took a time or two to figure out that they were keeping you from falling, because you had to learn to trust them.  Then came the day that you had probably been whining about, the day they took the training wheels off.  You were ready to balance the bike and ride it all alone.  After a fall or two, you figured out how to balance the bike and from then on you were no longer a baby.

What I remember most, is that even though I was scared of falling and getting hurt, I wanted those training wheels off.  Being accepted into the big kids group was more important than letting the fear stop me.  Always remember that when you are scared, you are thinking about doing something that requires you to be brave.  Riding a bicycle without training wheels for a 5 year old is being very brave.

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it”  – Erada

What is something that you have done this past year that required you to be very brave?  What were the training wheels that you removed, the thing that you were depending on, that you needed to let go, so that you could grow?

When I took my drivers training class, it was part of high school.  The class started right after school, and the first time behind the wheel you had to drive off a side street bordering the high school.  All of your friends would gather around the stop sign, waiting for you to drive the car out of the lot and up to the stop sign on the side road.  Of course, there were several sudden jerking stops as you drove toward the stop sign and all of your friends would laugh.  It was like a hazing in a way, because it eventually happened to everyone you knew.  At some point we would all be the object of ridicule.  But at the same time, it was like – cool, I’m driving a car!

These are the two examples that I keep in my head when I am trying to break through and do something that scares me.  Both of those things scared me, but at the same time, it was cool, look at what I am doing!  It reminds me of the hit song from “Panic At The Disco”, “Hey look ma, I made it”.  It also helps to have mentors like Eleanor Roosevelt.  People that you admire, who you can look to for guidance.   Albert Einstein is another of my dinner party guests.  He said:

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”  –  Albert Einstein

I think that sometimes you are scared to want something so badly that it hurts.  You are scared of not only failing, but of succeeding and then being disappointed.  Of succeeding only to lose it later.  So you tell yourself that you are afraid of failure, but in reality, you are afraid of success not being enough.  Of success not lasting.

“Move out of your comfort zone.  You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new” – Brian Tracy

I have really thought about this fear of failure/success.  I love the breakdown of the process in the above picture – that moving out of your comfort zone is actually a process of moving from fear, to learning and then to growth. (note:  the photo is from Adobe and I can’t fix the typo)

Once I move past fear the feeling I have shifts into anticipation.  Like fear, it also begins and ends in the stomach.  Like riding the roller coaster as it climbs up and up to the sky, and then hurtles you down to the earth, whipping you back and forth through the turns.  The wind blowing against you, your stomach lurching up your chest as you hold on tight.  Then all of sudden the ride is over and you are running back to the end of the line to do it again.  This kind of fear is telling you that being scared can be a thrill, because you are learning and extending your comfort zone at the same time.  That what you are about to experience by entering the growth zone is worth breaking through the hesitation and going full out.

“Life is inherently risky.  There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing”  – Denis Waitley

They say that at the end of a persons life, what they talk about is the things that they didn’t take the risk and try to do.  Being in love, is one of those risks.  Being afraid of being vulnerable, of being rejected, they hold back the words.  At the end of their life they regret not telling people how they really felt, not saying “I love you” enough to those that mattered to them.  When they had the opportunity, they shrunk back telling themselves, “they know how I feel”.  While that may be true, what any person wants and needs is to hear those words.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” – Unknown

So whether it is learning to ride a bike, drive a car, ride a roller coaster or say “I love you” – don’t let fear hold you back.  Be brave.  Say the words, do the deeds.  Feel the fear and do it because it is scary.  Do the things that both excite you and scare you at the same time.  Live your life as fully expressed, as bravely, and as committed as you can.  Just maybe if you can do that, you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”  –  Walt Disney

Keep Going. Everything You Need Will Be Provided With Divine Timing

Life is too short to think small.  If you think that something can be done, then it is too small.  If you think something is probably impossible, that is the goal to go for.  Not because the goal itself is the thing, but because of how trying to reach it will grow you.

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.  Go for the moon shot kind of goals.

Moon shot goals involve others in coming together as a community to make the really big goals happen.  Moon shot goals help others to reach out past their own boundaries and limitations as they buy into helping you accomplish yours.

The will to win.  The desire to succeed.  The urge to reach your full potential.., these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.   – Sabine Mondestin

The hard work of the goal is in making the vision clear.  When you can see the minute detail, then you can make plans.  With plans come steps.  With steps, you begin moving into action.  You gain a tremendous feeling of confidence when this happens.  This confidence, grants you personal empowerment.  Empowerment fuels your passion to bring the goals into reality. This is how the miracles begin.

It is like the infinity circle in which one part feeds and fuels the next part, in an never ending cycle.  Clarity fuels the plans.  Then plans fuel the steps.

Then steps start the wheels moving and you get action.  Action gets you excited that stuff is finally happening.

Personal empowerment comes from actions taking place.  Personal empowerment in turn fuels passion.  Passion feeds back into clarity.  Clarity begins the whole process again.

This is because as the vision starts moving forward into implementation, you get more clarity.  Clarity starts new plans.  New plans lead to revised actions.  The whole cycle begins spinning again.

With engagement the divine one moves in with synchronicities and doors begin to open.  People show up, all to bring your goals into reality.  You are not meant to accomplish things by yourself.  But no one can help you, until you help yourself.

I used to extinguish under the weight of living, but one day, I reached into my chest, dusted off my courage, and asked myself, “where’s your fire?”  –   D. Antoinette Foy

Be strong about your goals, and flexible about your methods.  Be willing to try things you don’t think will work.  To try things that you have never done.  You learn by discovering what will work for you.

Has anyone ever tried you train you by having you watch them do the job?  They walk you through a program.  They tell you what your inputs should be.  You go back to your desk, and you can’t remember what to do.  Your notes don’t make any sense to you.

But when someone sits beside you, and guides you as you do the work, now it sinks in.  You learn by doing it yourself.  As you do the work, you have the space to think of the questions you need to ask to understand the process.  When you just learn the process you are just a cog in a machine. When you understand the process, now you can innovate.  Now you can teach it.

When you become visible, you take a huge risk.  Because not everyone is going to like you.  Some people are going to hate you, just because you are different.  There will be those people that will be mean and cruel.  That needs to be okay.  You need to understand that you are not here for everyone.

You are not here with your gifts for those who don’t want them.  You are here for those that do.

The only real difference between us, is that some of us have remembered why we are here.  Others are still asleep to their true purpose.   They don’t remember their divine inheritance.    They will find fault with what you are doing, without really understanding why it bothers them so much.  They act as a challenge to help you reach your highest potential.

If you are persistent, you will get it.  If you are consistent you will keep it.  – Unknown

Such an interesting quote.  Being persistent is how you learn something.  Have you ever listened to a two year old, asking “why”?  They are the most persistent creatures in the universe.  Persistence is how you learn.  Understanding comes from doing it consistently.

You literally sink the learning down into your bones.  I like to think of learning, as how you learned to ride a bike.  Most of us can ride a bike.

• But how many of us learned how to ride with no hands?
• Learned how to jump the bike over obstacles?
• Learned how to do a wheelie?

You were persistent enough to learn to ride, getting back on every time you fell.  But were you consistent enough to go past the basics and learn all of the tricks of riding a bike – did you become a master?

How do you let the amazing out?

• You get curious.
• You think, why not?
• You question, how come?
• You imagine, what if?
• You wonder, who can I collaborate with on this?

Curiosity is the compass that leads you to your purpose.  Your reason for being here now.

When you are tempted to give up, your breakthrough is probably just around the corner.  – Joyce Meyer

Then you work on your true inheritance, and accept that as you become masters on this earth, that your signature will become your autograph.

A signature is so much more than just a splash of ink across the paper.  A signature is style.  It is a “look”.  It is something that says who you are.  When you see the Nike symbol, what pops into your mind?  Nike is not just about shoes.

When you hear the Coca Cola jingle, “I’d like to teach the world to sing” how does it make you feel?  Coca Cola is more than just a drink.  That is what a signature is.

You have so much inside of your soul waiting to come out.  That is why you will risk becoming visible.  That is why you can’t think small.

Because some part of you deep inside knows how truly magnificent you really are.  Each of us is a thread in Gods tapestry.  Each of us has a part to play.  Each of us has to become visible, in order for the pattern to be seen.  Each of us has that special one of a kind signature that the world needs to see, feel, and hear.

Love Is The Key That Frees You From Your Cage

Updated 11/14/2021

“We can only be kept in the cages we refuse to see” – Stefan Molyneux

What cages have you freed yourself from, or are working on freeing yourself from?

These cages have been created from stories that we tell ourselves. Stories of our unworthiness and insecurities.

“The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives.  They shape who we believe we are, and this belief translates into who we become.”  – John Assaraf

Maybe you have totally different cages locked away in the darkness than I talk about below. What I do know, is that we all have cages, and we all have the keys to unlock them.

For many years I kept the real me hidden and locked away. I wanted people to love me, so I hid away all of the insecurities and made a strong mask to wear in public.

I was a daughter to a wonderful mom that I loved, but was always afraid that some day she wouldn’t love me, because I had not been the perfect daughter. This was my own story, not hers.

I am a sister, who has been more a mother to my younger sisters and brother, than a sister. I love them all dearly and wanted to protect them from all dangers, but I failed them. This was my own story, not theirs.

I worked myself up the corporate ladder of a major bank, becoming a “master” at mortgage finance and earning the title of Director. Yet at the same time, I was hiding away the insecurity of being found out to be a fraud. I was a high school drop out without a college degree. This was my story, and I release it, and release it, and release it (lack of formal education is a sticky belief for me).

I am a wife to my true love, my best friend, my partner. Through 48 years we have seen good times and bad. We have four wonderful children, and now have 14 grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. Many times I smiled on the outside and was dying on the inside, because I didn’t know how to communicate my own needs. So instead, became a martyr for everyone else’s. This was my story, not theirs.

I am a student of life. I am confident and unsure. I am terrified and excited. I am a young girl and an old woman. I wish on stars and dream dreams. I have been through many transformations, walking through the valley of fire and shadows. I have stepped off the edges of cliffs so I could soar across chasms. I have climbed up steep mountains, only to ride the rushing rivers back down into the valley.

I am just like you. A woman of many talents, conflicting emotions, and insecurities. I have set myself free from many of the stories I told myself. because the stories themselves were just cages to keep me contained. There are more cages that await, more doors to be opened. I have a handful of keys to the cages, and I am continuing to transform every time I use a new one.

“People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.”– Alain De Bottom 

Have you started rattling the bars of your cage?  It starts with learning to love all of the parts of yourself.  Letting go of the “I’m a Victim story”; the “The Villain story (either you or someone else)”; the “I am Helpless story”.  It’s about noting what you are really feeling; how you are acting or reacting; and instead of creating some drama around it with you as the tragic victim, get back to the facts before your creative editing.

I have set myself free from the cages I created with the above false stories – the cage of perfection; the cage of protecting others from life experiences; and the cage of not having a degree; all of which were locked inside the larger cage of “I am not worthy” and so must earn your love and respect with every step, knowing that nothing I do can satiate that kind of thinking.

I love myself as I am today, perfectly imperfect. And, I love myself for who I am transforming into.

“I believe we write our own stories, and each time we think we know the end – we don’t.  Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.  You know, life’s funny that way.  Once you let go of the wheel, you  might end up right where you belong.” – quote bites.com